Sending Flowers to a Funeral: What to Spend, What to Send, and When

If you're reading this, someone you care about is grieving — and you have a service date that's probably only a day or two away. Here are the answers, quickly and plainly, so you can get this handled and get back to being present for the people who need you.

By @flowers · Updated July 2026

How much to spend, based on your relationship

There's no rulebook here, but there is a quiet pattern most families follow, and it exists to reduce exactly the second-guessing you're feeling right now. What you spend should track how close you were — not because anyone is measuring, but because the arrangement types themselves are sized to different roles at the service.

National ranges; large metro areas often run 20–50% higher. Whatever you spend, the gesture carries the message — a $75 plant and a $300 spray say the same thing.

The arrangement types, and what each one is for

Sympathy baskets and bouquets — usually $50 to $100

The most flexible choice and rarely the wrong one. They can be placed near the guestbook or photos at the service, and they're easy for the family to bring home afterward. If you're unsure what to send, send this.

Plants — usually $50 to $100

A peace lily or similar living plant is a classic sympathy gift, and it outlasts the week. Many families find comfort in caring for something that keeps growing. Plants can go to the service or directly to the family's home.

Wreaths — usually $100 to $300

Displayed on an easel at the service, the circular shape traditionally symbolizes eternal life. Wreaths are commonly sent by extended family, friend groups, and organizations.

Standing sprays — usually $150 to $350

Large, fan-shaped arrangements on easels, visible from across the room. This is the traditional choice for close friends and extended family who want a clearly visible tribute at the service.

Casket sprays — usually $200 to $500+ — immediate family only

The arrangement that rests on the casket itself is chosen by the immediate family, sized to the casket (a half-couch spray for an open casket, full-couch for closed), and coordinated with the funeral home. If you're not immediate family, don't order one unless the family has asked you to — choose a standing spray or wreath instead.

Where to send them — the service or the home

This choice decides the arrangement type. Easel pieces — wreaths, standing sprays — and anything meant for the casket belong at the funeral home or service location. Baskets, bouquets, and plants work in both places, and sending them to the family's home is often the warmer move: the service will be full of flowers, but the house in the weeks after usually isn't.

Don't underestimate the late arrival. An arrangement that shows up two or three weeks after the service — when the casseroles have stopped and the house has gone quiet — often means more than anything sent to the funeral itself.

Timing: what needs to happen when

Order at least 24 hours before the service. For larger pieces — standing sprays, casket sprays, custom tributes — give the florist 48 hours. Same-day is often possible for baskets and bouquets, but don't count on it for easel pieces.

Flowers should reach the funeral home about two hours before the service begins, so the funeral director can receive and place them properly. Any florist who regularly delivers to that funeral home will handle this without being asked — one of the real advantages of using a local shop over a national order-taker.

Address it correctly: send service flowers to the funeral home, addressed to "The funeral of [full name of the deceased]," with the service date and time. The funeral home's staff handles the rest.

Etiquette: the three things worth knowing

Check the obituary first

If it says "in lieu of flowers," the family has told you what they want — honor it with the suggested donation. If you still want to send something tangible, a plant or arrangement delivered to the home after the service respects their wishes for the service while still showing up for them personally.

Not every tradition uses flowers

Many Jewish funerals traditionally don't include flowers — a shiva meal or charitable donation is the customary gesture instead. Other faiths and cultures have their own customs about colors and arrangement types. When in doubt, one call to the funeral home handling the service settles it; they'll tell you exactly what's appropriate for that family.

White is the safe palette; personal is the meaningful one

White lilies, roses, chrysanthemums, and carnations are the traditional sympathy palette and are never out of place. But if you knew the person loved sunflowers or always wore yellow, a florist can build the tribute around that — and the family will notice.

What to write on the card

Short and sincere beats long and eloquent. One or two lines, signed with your full name so the family knows exactly who sent it — they'll be reading dozens of cards, often weeks later, while writing thank-you notes.

Save the longer memory or story for a sympathy card mailed to the home — that's the one they'll keep.

Frequently asked questions

Cost ranges compiled from published US florist and funeral-industry pricing guides, including data from Kremp Florist, Ever Loved, US Funerals Online, and FTD. National estimates; large metro markets typically run higher. Last updated July 2026.